Couples Therapy

Do You Feel Like The Spark Is Gone From Your Relationship?

Does your marriage or relationship feel stagnant? Are you and your significant other struggling to understand each other? Do you feel like you just can’t get through to your partner, no matter how hard you try?

Maybe every conversation is riddled with misunderstanding. Every argument turns into a shouting match. Or perhaps you’re not fighting all the time, but your relationship feels dead. It’s like you’re just roommates now. Your spouse no longer calls you beautiful constantly or goes out of their way to make you feel special. As a result, you may feel unheard, unloved, and unappreciated.

Healing A Relationship Means Joining Sides Instead Of Taking Sides

Let’s face it: part of you probably wishes that your partner would simply change. If they just thought like you and shared your goals, you might tell yourself, everything would be so much easier. But just as it takes two to tango, it takes two to make things better. Healing is about putting aside your need to be right. It’s about joining sides instead of taking sides.

Couples counseling can help you and your significant other do the individual work needed to repair your marriage or relationship. Here at Park Slope Therapy, we want to help both of you rekindle the spark that made you fall in love in the beginning.

Falling In Love Is Easy. Maintaining A Healthy Relationship Isn’t.

Most couples experience lack of communication and affection at some point in their relationship. Falling in love can feel easy and seamless, but building and maintaining closeness takes work and attention. All too often, couples aren’t prepared when the lovey-dovey honeymoon phase of their relationship ends.

Additionally, many couples don’t have the tools to deal with conflict in their marriage. Nobody gets a “how-to” playbook along with their engagement ring. As a result, most couples rely on patterns of communication that are unproductive or dysfunctional. They often communicate the same way their parents did and repeat unhealthy habits from previous romantic relationships.

Getting stuck in old communication patterns is like relying on a broken bone. Just as a bone can be overworked and lose its usefulness, so can the way you communicate with each other. Counseling is a chance to update your relationship skills and break out of the patterns that aren’t working for you anymore.

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Therapy Can Help Couples Avoid Power Struggles And Understand Each Other Better

A lot of couples worry that seeing a therapist is an admission of failure or a sign that their relationship is on the rocks. This isn’t necessarily the case. Going to therapy shows that you and your significant other want to get ahead of the game and build a strong foundation for years to come.

At Park Slope Therapy, we provide counseling for all kinds of couples—straight, gay, lesbian, trans, interracial, etc. We work with people who are married, unmarried, or even separated and co-parenting. Regardless of your orientation or relationship status, our goal is to help you and your partner build on your strengths, repair hurts and disappointments, and gain the skills to effectively become your own therapists.

What To Expect In Couples Therapy Sessions

During the intake process, both of you will meet with your couples counselor together to go over your main goals and concerns. Although most sessions will involve both of you, there will be individual sessions held occasionally throughout treatment. The goal of these sessions is to understand your differing perspectives and help you work through your individual struggles.

Above all, therapy with us is about going deeper and getting to the root of conflict. In the heat of an argument, it’s so easy to point fingers and focus on the surface issues—the “he said, she saids” of relationships. Couples therapy can help you and your partner look beneath the surface and identify the core issues driving your conflict.

For instance, if both of you have a fight about who is supposed to pick up the kids after school, therapy can help you see that it’s really a fight about who is contributing more to your marriage. In this way, you can learn to see each conflict as a vehicle for the deeper needs and wants in your relationship. This can help you understand each other better and learn to avoid resorting to power struggles and defensive behaviors.

Tailoring Your Counseling Plan

We approach therapy differently from couple to couple. That said, one of the main foundations of our work is the Gottman Method. The whole point of the Gottman Method is to identify the unseen problems in your relationship and help you and your partner create “love maps” for understanding each other. Love maps will help you gather information about each other’s needs, wants, fears, and desires. This will make it easier to navigate tough conversations and understand where your partner is coming from.

Your relationship may be going through a rough patch, but that doesn’t mean you can’t rekindle the spark that set your love aflame in the beginning. As long as both of you are committed to improving your relationship, we are confident that you will be rewarded with greater intimacy, trust, and friendship.

You May Have Some Questions And Concerns About
Couples Therapy….

What if couples therapy is too expensive?

All too often, the last place that couples think to spend money is on themselves. Therapy is a chance to do just that. It’s a chance to invest in the safety and happiness of your relationship. While it’s reasonable to worry about finances, it’s far more costly to not work on improving your relationship. Therapy can help your marriage stay strong and healthy for years to come.

Won’t counseling just make us fight even more?

A skilled therapist knows how to make sure conversations between couples stay productive. Your therapist will give you tools for de-escalating conflict and helping you get centered when you feel worked up. What’s more, our approach is neutral and unbiased—we’re not here to take sides or dwell on one person’s sore spots. The goal is to give both of you an equal chance to share your feelings and express your frustrations.

Doesn’t going to therapy mean our relationship isn’t good?

Going to couples therapy is a sign that you and your partner are doing the best you can. It shows you care deeply about your relationship and are willing to set aside time for each other. Besides, the stigma around therapy is quickly becoming a thing of the past. Holding yourself and your relationship accountable is very much the norm nowadays.

Let Us Help You Rekindle Your Spark And Fall Back In Love

If you and your significant other want to solve communication issues and rekindle your love for each other, we encourage you to pursue couples counseling with us. To get started, you can book online here, email us, or call us at 929-297-9753 to get started.

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